Our Definitions
Digital abuse is an umbrella term used to describe the use of technology and/or social media to intimidate, harass or threaten. Digital abuse can cause significant emotional and psychological harm.
- Cyberstalking: a specific type of digital abuse when someone repeatedly uses digital platforms to harass, intimidate, or monitor another person, often causing fear for their personal safety. Cyberstalking can be considered a more specific form of online stalking and focuses on repeated unwanted contact.
- Sextortion: when someone threatens to distribute your private and sensitive material if you don’t provide them images of a sexual nature, sexual favors, or money. Predators often pose as someone else online to coerce people into taking and sending sexually explicit photos and videos—and then immediately demand payment or threaten to release the photo to the victim’s family and friends. It is a crime.
Digital abuse should be taken seriously. What begins online can escalate into physical harm. However, physical harm does not need to occur in order for a relationship or situation to be considered abuse.
Examples of Digital Abuse Behaviors
- Distributing sexual images or videos of someone without their consent
- Distributing sexual images or videos of yourself without the receiver’s consent (unwanted sexting)
- Threatening to distribute sexual images or videos of someone
- Filming sexual encounters without an individual’s consent
- Sending threatening messages online
- Publicly humiliating someone online
- Repeatedly contacting someone with unwanted messages
- Demanding passwords
- Checking cell phones
- Stalking someone on social media
- Monitoring someone’s location without their consent
Hacking, scamming, swatting, doxxing, trolling, and cyberbullying are also common forms of digital abuse that can also occur outside the context of an intimate relationship.
Harm Reduction
Safe Sexting
Sexting can be a positive and enjoyable part of a relationship- when done consensually. It can increase intimacy, strengthen connections, or allow you to engage with someone sexually without the risk of pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases. Here are some things to consider before sexting:
- Only sext with someone you trust and have met in person*
- Make sure your partner is of consenting, legal age
- Don’t sext without the other person’s consent
- Don’t share images with others
- Have clear rules about the exchanged images- will they be saved or deleted? Are they uploaded to the cloud?
- Avoid images that make you easily identifiable; conceal your face, scars, tattoos, and/or jewelry
- Consider apps that are designed to send images securely
- Turn off location tracking on your device and avoid any information that identifies your surroundings
*If you choose to sext with someone you’ve met virtually on a dating app, there are still ways to be safe! See below for tips on hooking up on dating apps, and using apps like Google Voice.
Hooking up on Dating Apps
Many people use dating apps for romantic and sexual connections. In order to stay safe online, use these steps:
- Meet in a public place the first time you meet- even if you’re planning to meet exclusively to hook up. You can go to a second location from there if you want.
- Don’t rely on the other person for transportation. Arrange your own ride so you can leave whenever you want.
- Tell a friend where you are going and keep them posted if you change locations.
- If you’re drinking or engaging in other substances, set a limit for yourself beforehand and stick with it. For example, don’t drink more than you planned to.
- If you don’t want the other party to find you on social media, use pictures on your dating profiles that you have never posted before. This way, you won’t be found on a reverse google image search.
- Reverse image search your matches to check for authenticity. If the image is attached to a social media profile that does not match the name you’ve been given, it is likely a scam.
Unfortunately, many commit acts of digital abuse online in an effort to sextort or blackmail. Pay attention to any of the following warning signs if someone:
- Asks for financial assistance in any way, often because of a sudden personal crisis
- Disappears suddenly from the site then reappears under a different name
- Gives vague answers to specific questions
- Is overly complimentary and romantic too early in your communication
- Pressures you to provide your phone number or talk outside the dating app or site
- Requests your home or work address under the guise of sending flowers or gifts
- Tells inconsistent or grandiose stories
Utilizing Google Voice
Google Voice is a free way to create an alternative phone number. You can link the number to your real phone number so you can receive calls. This way you don’t have to give out a real number if you are dating people you don’t know very well. With Google Voice, people have less access to personal information that might be attached to your real phone number. You can also easily block texts and calls from your Google Voice number.
Resources
Visit the resources page to find information about support and reporting options.
Additional Information
Online resources for information about digital abuse include: